He Said He Loved Me
by Rivulet027
Summary: Major Major Angst. Not a happy look at DracoGinny, lots of char death and mentions suicide.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with Harry Potter, it's Rowling's toy box and I'm only playing in it.

Spoilers are only to book four.

Warning: This is a major angst fic. I had this really bad day, found some things out about an old lover and was wiggin something major. Then this started playing in the back of my head and wouldn't leave until I sat down and wrote it. I was on total bitch mode until I did. There's major amounts of char death. Not a remotely happy look at Draco/Ginny and it ends with thoughts of suicide. Obviously suicide is never the answer, so if you're thinking about it talk to someone.

As always reviews and flames are welcome.

Ginny:

He said he loved me.

Things started off slow between us. We ran into each other in one of the hallways, literally. As we bent to retrieve our books he sneered an insult at me and I cut him off with a retort. He gave me a smile, call me Ginny instead of Weasley and we went our separate ways.

He said he loved me.

Over a week later I got lost, the staircase changed and I didn't realize. He found me wandering around outside Slytherin worried and walked me back to Gryffindor. We talked the entire time, comfortably, not the insults we usually traded. It was pleasant and when he left me in front of the Fat Lady I thanked him.

He said he love me.

Not long afterward we met in the library, on accident, and ended up studying together. Slowly spending time together became routine. After a few months he kissed me, asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes.

He said he loved me.

Ron found out. He tired to beat Draco up. He was so sure I was being used. I didn't let him, I gave him a black eye. We got into a horrible argument and barely spoke to each other after, but it was okay because I still had Draco.

He said he loved me.

Hermione and Harry tried to talk to me on Ron's behalf. I wouldn't have it. I insulted both of them worse then I'd insulted Ron and they stopped trying. Hermione decided they had to give me room to make my own decisions, my own mistakes.

He said he loved me.

Ron got tired of waiting for Draco to break my heart. He wrote to Fred and George. They came up to Hogworts to see me. At first they laughed and joked with me and I thought it was a regular visit.

Then Fred asked me, "What's with this Malfoy thing?"

"His name is Draco." I growled at them before kicking them out of my room and refusing to come out until they'd left.

He said he loved me.

Snape made me stay after class one day, he wanted to talk. He told me he felt Draco was using me, that I was too good for him. I didn't believe him, I'd already had this conversation with McGonagall. Me too good for a Malfoy? No. I told him what it boiled down to was that I was a Weasley and Draco was a Malfoy and no one could see past that. He tried to convince me that I was getting used, but I didn't listen to him because I knew Draco loved me.

He said he loved me.

Charlie stopped at the school to talk some sense into me. I sent him away.

He said he loved me.

I wouldn't even see Bill when he stopped by.

He said he loved me.

I stopped doing holidays with my family and when summer rolled around I got an apartment and job in Hogsmeade. I continued to see Draco.

He said he loved me.

Dumbledore asked to talk to me. He said my parents were worried, that all my friends were worried. I told him they just couldn't accept my taste in men. He told me to be careful. I told him I was, that I already had someone who cared for me.

He said he loved me.

By the time I graduated I had alienated my whole family and all my friends. To me there were only two people in the world: Ginny and Draco.

He said he loved me.

At Draco's urging I took up the Dark Arts. I joined Lord Voldemort. I was the first, the only, Weasley to ever become a Death Eater. For Draco I went against everything I was raised to believe. Some of the plans I was involved in resulted in Hogworts being closed forever.

He said he loved me.

I found out without Hogworts Hagrid really had no place to go. Without Dumbledore to help him he was so very lost. Ron, Harry and Hermione tried to cheer him up, tell him there were other places he could go. I think they were right when they said he died of a broken heart.

Most of the teachers returned to their homes.

Snape disappeared, everyone assumed he'd died as well.

He said he loved me.

Bill made the mistake of marrying a mugblood. They were both killed in a Death Eater riot.

He said he loved me.

Fred and George became muggles. No ones heard from them in over a year.

He said he loved me.

A lot of people at the Ministry died. Few employees stayed on, it was just too much. Times were too hard. Percy, like a fool, overworked himself into an illness that left him weak and tired. They said they didn't think he'd ever recover and that it could kill him if he wasn't careful. Percy, being Percy, tried to go back to work. The Ministry let him go. He was last seen with an old Hogworts teacher, Lupin, and my brother Charlie. They disappeared shortly after Ron, Harry and Hermione did. No one knows where any of them are. They've gone into hiding. We think their still in our world.

He said he loved me.

One day I was overwhelmed by the feeling that I had to go home. I found the Burrow empty, even Mom and Dad were gone. I told myself that I'd gone bad, that I was a dark witch and therefore I didn't care. It still hurt, but I told myself I had Draco and that meant I didn't need them.

He said he loved me.

Shortly after I returned the group Draco and I were with captured an Auror. Neville Longbottom had changed his last few years at Hogworts. He had followed in his parents footsteps.

I watched them torture him. He screamed, eventually he begged them to stop, but he didn't give any information away.

He stared at me throughout the whole interrogation process. He never took his eyes of me. It unnerved me.

Then they left me alone with him, they thought I could get something out of him. I couldn't speak, all my words stayed stuck in my throat.

He told me he didn't believe I was evil. He told me I'd always been pretty and sweet at school. He told me I was a Hugglepuff in the way I had mothered everyone, that I was a Ravenclaw in my intelligence and a Gryfindor in my strength. Then he told me it'd upset him when Draco Malfoy twisted me around his finger, but he didn't think I was evil just misguided. He said he was glad he'd had the chance to know me, to be my friend. Then he took one last strained breath, told me goodbye, and let himself die.

It left me unnerved. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. Draco told me to get over it, that Neville had chosen the wrong side a long time ago and I should be content with the fact that I had chosen the right side.

If I started to cry he'd leave and not come back till morning.

He said he loved me.

I overheard Draco talking to his father. He's been cheating on me. He's gotten Pansy Parkinson pregnant. His father thought this wonderful news. I heard him tell Draco that I had outlived my usefulness. I heard Draco agree. I heard him tell Draco to kill me. I heard Draco say he would.

He said he loved me.

I Apparated away, ended up just outside the Burrow.

It's raining, I'm getting soaked but I don't feel it because my head is screaming 'He said he loved me' over and over and over. I gave up everything and everyone for him. There's no reason to go on living. I want death, would welcome it.

I have a dagger, Draco gave it to me as a present on our third anniversary. I'm only twenty.

If I slit my wrists I should bleed to death. He said he loved me.

I know how to do it the right way too. I watched them do it to a muggle. I watched her die. He said he loved me.

It's all I have left to do, slit my writs, curl into a ball and go to sleep because there's nothing and no one left. He said he loved me.

What other option do I have? He said he loved me and he lied. 


End file.
